The Loneliness of Americans
The Loneliness of Americans
Loneliness has a thousand faces; the loneliness of Americans and that of the Japanese are two typical ones.
Both Americans and the Japanese are highly independent people unwilling to disturb others. However, the loneliness of the Japanese is visible, while that of Americans is invisible. Making friends with the Japanese takes a long while, because the Japanese are introverted and hard to befriend; building a relationship and trust with them is a slow process. You must pay close attention to the details of befriending them.
It is relatively easy to make an American friend, thanks to the easygoing and outgoing character of Americans. Even so, Americans actually have a tiered system for their friends. So in most cases, there is no need to take their pleasantries seriously — mostly they are enthusiastically open-minded and cheerful, and it is quite common for them to forget what they said. Even if you regard something as a commitment, they may have meant it as a joke. Due to the existing strong sense of boundaries, Americans are really not as sociable as you might think. They keep their distance even with their friends.
By contrast, the Chinese love to be surrounded by many friends and believe that true friends shouldn't keep distance or maintain excessive boundaries. Chinese people living in the U.S. sometimes feel like collapsing for lack of the bustling, lively social atmosphere. The downside, however, is that the Chinese often fall out with one another over conflicts of interest.
Sometimes, people may mistakenly think that Americans live as carefree and happy a life as Hollywood movies show them. In fact, although Americans are naturally more optimistic than the Japanese or the Chinese, most middle-class Americans still feel breathless under the heavy weight of life. Like the Japanese and the Chinese, Americans won't let people know their troubles, either. As a result, even their closest friends may not know their private concerns. Even with friends around them, Americans still feel lonely from time to time.
The loneliness of the Japanese is one you can see at a glance, whereas the loneliness of Americans is one hidden behind their smiling faces.
美国人的孤独
孤独有很多种，美国人和日本人的孤独是比较典型的两种。
美国人和日本人都很独立，都不愿意麻烦别人，但日本人的孤独是显性的孤独，而美国人的孤独是隐性的孤独。日本人因为性格内向，所以不易交友，和日本人交友需要很长时间建立信任，而且需要注意很多细节方面的东西。
美国人性格开朗，所以和美国人交友相对简单，但是美国人实际上应该对朋友有一定的分级制度，所以多数情况下，因为美国人比较热情开朗，有时候说的东西很快就忘了，所以对他们的客套话当真是没有任何必要的。有时候你认为他们给了你一个承诺，而他们当时也许就是开玩笑。由于存在较强的边界感，所以美国人实际上并不像你想得那样亲近，即使是朋友也会有一定的距离。
相比之下，中国人喜欢被一群朋友环绕，并认为真正的朋友不应该有距离，以及那种过度的边界感。在美国生活的中国人时而会感到崩溃，因为缺乏了那种热闹的社交环境。但缺点是，中国人会因为利益闹得不欢而散。
有时，人们会误以为美国人像电影里一样无拘无束，非常开心。但事实是，虽然美国人相较于中国人或者日本人确实比较乐观，但生活的重压让大多数美国中产阶级都喘不过气。与中国人跟日本人一样，美国人也不喜欢让人知道自己的烦恼，所以，即使是很亲密的朋友也不一定就知道他们的心事。即使有朋友，美国人还是会时不时感到孤独。
日本人的孤独是让人一眼就能感受到的孤独，而美国人的孤独是那种藏在笑脸里的孤独。
This is also posted on my blog.